Releasing the anger and healing the pain

Hi Everyone.  What a glorious day and weather we had.  I hope you all took advantage and made the most of it.  Today I thought that I'd cover a bit about the biggest emotional stumbling block that I had in my life.  At the time I don't think that I actually knew what it was.  All I knew was the effects that it was having on my life.  Right through my teenage years I felt fine and my life was relatively smooth sailing.  I was just setting out on my journey of finding out more about who I was and where I was from - my identity.

When my son Jordan was born my life literally turned upside down.  You can read about this in full detail in my book and it certainly is eye opening, especially for new mum's.  I spent the next 5 years trying to work through all of those emotions, which really were not the result of Jordan being born, but they certainly were triggered when Jordan was born.  I know I felt so angry with the whole world.  I was full of hate and I blamed the government for removing me from my birth family and I was unconsciously grieving for the loss of my birth mother. 

Joan West - my birth-mother

I was hurting and had found no way of safely healing the pain.  So I turned the pain, anger, resentment and bitterness inwards and did what so many of us do, which is to punish and hurt ourselves.  Despite being loved, I choose to suffer from days of depression and I couldn't see any hope in the future.  It wasn't until I pushed everyone close to me out of my life that I came to the point of realizing that I needed to let go of the anger and unresolved grief and loss that I was feeling.  I knew that I had to go back and heal the past before I could even think about the future.  It was after much self-healing through counseling, self-development and personal growth work that I now can live fully in the present moment.

I found this lovely link about "Forgiveness and the freedom of letting go"  it's worth the time having a look.  

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3D4VMZb8wLY&feature=related

Peace and love 


Joy  :)